Finding Lisa

Today is Miss Nicole’s 32nd birthday! Happy Birthday, Nikki!!!! As is tradition in our family, hubby and I woke her up around 6:30 this morning to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to her. LOL Hopefully she rolled over and went back to sleep after giggling for a bit.¬† So I posted ‘Happy Birthday’ to her on Facebook and that turned into a conversation about What to Have for Dinner. As is also tradition in our family, for your Birthday Dinner you get tacos and cake. I’m so old I can’t even remember how that tradition started other than to say we were very poor for many years so tacos were a treat. I was going to make chicken tonight but Miss Nicole said we should have tacos in honor of her birthday. Hubby promptly agreed. I had already taken out the chicken but knew I had most of the fixings for tacos I just wasn’t sure about the shells and seasoning but, lo and behold, when I opened the cupboard doors there was an Oretga Taco Dinner sitting there. So…tacos it is!

Tomorrow night I’m making chicken soup. It’s supposed to be blustery and that will be tasty. I just have to decide if I’m serving it with noodles (which I went to the store and bought) or dumplings, for which I found a nice easy recipe.

Any-hoo, hubby and I had a nice long 3 day weekend together which left the house sort of a mess. I’ve been a cleaning fool all day. I cleaned the kitchen, including mopping the floor and getting that nasty thick layer of greasy dust off the ceiling fan. Not an easy job for someone short as me who has arthritis, carpel tunnel, and a lower back that loves to lock up. ūüôā

I dusted the living room, straightened it out, struggled with the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed the old rug. 1-we really have to get a new rug, this one is nearly 45 years old. 2-the damn vacuum plugs up constantly BUT we did it get for $20.00 from the pawn shop probably 5 years ago so…..not a bad deal. It’s one of those bagless things which is nice.

Then it was on to the Big Chore of the week….well, month or more actually.

No, it isn’t dirty laundry, those are all clean and there were two loads in the washer and dryer. Obviously, with just two of us, I haven’t put the laundry away in quite a while. So I tackled that.

It took about an hour after which there were all of the unmatched socks to go through.

Oy! After putting away all of the laundry it was nice to sit, watch “The Blacklist”, and match socks. I did that until only a small pile of ‘Where The Fuck Did the Other Ones Go’ remained.

Then I cleaned the bedroom top to bottom. All dusted and pretty, I even swept and washed the hard wood floor. Then I cleaned the bathroom. All pretty, dusted, with the floor swept and mopped. Oh, the top floor of my house (at this exact moment in time) looks glorious!

The whole time I put up with something akin to THIS

Yes, that’s my Cai. Listen to him whine. If he doesn’t have his ball he will whine like that for ages or at least until I start to laugh. Honestly it’s like living with a toddler again; “Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mommy! Ma? Ma mamamamamamma!” But I love him to death, who can resist that FACE? So adorable.

Now my housework is done except for putting cases on the pillows. Tomorrow I’ll wash the bed clothes.

Over the weekend I started writing a bit. Just a bit. There was a scene in my head that actually kicked off “The First Sin” but I realized I’d never written it and that could be the reason I was a bit stuck. Lately I’ve been living with three lovely voices in my head; Dear Old Ares, “Raymond Reddington” a/k/a James Spader a/k/a ‘Original Danny’ you know, from the original “Stargate” movie, the ‘Daniel Jackson’ I actually fell in love with so many many years ago–there is just something about his voice that captures my full attention– and ‘Lucifer’ who I am trying to freakin’ hard not to write in “The First Sin” with a British accent. I’m trying very hard to simply keep to my old Catholic/Baptist roots where he’s concerned. Yet all three of them finally came to an agreement on this story and that agreement was; It’s just DIGITAL, not paper, no ink, you’re not wasting ANYTHING, so go back, take out what you want, save it as a new file, and go forward.

So I did.

In so doing I was able to expand a bit on ‘Lucifer’s’ time in New York City and blow it up some. That was fun.

But now I have almost two stories and I’m wondering which will be the final one. Which one will lead me to scenes where ‘Lucifer’ and ‘Eve’ are held captive by ‘Cain’? Not sure. But, it could be interesting.

Anyway, for those few of you following along, here’s the change:

The First Sin
by Lisa Beth Darling (ALL RIGHT RESERVED)
Chapter Six

By the end of the third year of my new life in Westhampton Beach, I was named New York’s Most Eligible Bachelor. I was interviewed for “The New Yorker”. ¬†My handsome face was suddenly plastered all over New York City in the papers, the magazines, and even on an eight story billboard smack in the middle of Time’s Square. ¬†My reputation only grew from there I was interviewed by “The Wall Street Journal” for my business savvy. I was interviewed by “People Magazine” and named one of the Top Ten Sexiest Men Alive. I was on morning talk shows. I was on late night talk shows. Having come to understand the importance of the Internet and the expediently ready abundance of personal information available to anyone with a computer here in the Digital Age, whenever asked, I stuck to the script Eve and Raph had so carefully crafted for me. That background gave me an extra boost. Having come from very (unimpeachable) humble beginnings, Lucifer Samuels was seen as an American Success Story. ¬†A self-made man who went from utter obscurity to having everyone in the world know his name.


I received offers from several top men’s clothing designers and cologne manufacturers to appear in print ads and TV commercials hocking their wares. It seems I had a very high ‘Q Rating’ (whatever that was) and the ladies just couldn’t get enough of my devilishly smoldering good looks.

When the initial contract crossed my richly gleaming antique cherry desk I smiled and thought of Eve for the first time in years. I remembered how she told me I could go into modeling as she measured me for those thrift store clothes. I’d come a long way from second hand jeans to tailor made Armani suits. For a brief moment, I wondered if she knew, if she’d heard of me or seen me on her TV. I wondered if she was proud or disappointed. She couldn’t be too disappointed, after all, she hadn’t sent Raph or Ares after me so I must not be making the kind of waves she warned me about. I thought I should call her or send her an e-mail, reach out in some way. I remember staring out the wall of windows in my Madison Avenue office looking at the New York skyline and seeing her face in the passing clouds. As much as I wanted to make that call or send that e-mail, I wanted to disturb her life even less. ¬†She seemed happy in Grey Village with the God of War at her side. If I made a horrible misstep I was sure she’d let me know about it. In the meantime, why not take on a modeling gig? It could be fun and the money was hard to turn down even for me. I spent a few months in sunny California, in Los Angeles a town I did not like but grew to appreciate, having my picture taken, saying a few lines into a camera, partying on the Sunset Strip, and bedding the most gorgeous women a man could ever ask for.

Not bad for a mere gardener or for a Fallen Angel who had yet to receive his powers back. Perhaps that last bit made everything else all the sweeter; I’d done it all on my own, wheeled and dealed my way to the top of the heap without any help from Dear Old Dad.

Life went on that way for nearly another year and then, in late summer, after a night of partying and screwing. I awoke from a nightmare so real I thought it was actually happening. I saw Eve, she was so thin, she was filthy with her hair matted to her head looking as though it hadn’t seen a brush or even water in weeks, her clothes nothing more than tatters as she huddled up in a small ball crying in the corner of a graffiti riddled brick wall. The image was so incredibly visceral, even before my eyes sprang open every nerve in my body went to full alert steeling itself to face the danger that was surely surrounding her at this very moment. With my heart pounding in my chest, I jumped from the bed, planted my feet in the plush bedroom carpet, balled up my fists and took a fighting stance. I threw my chest out, straightened my back and my wings exploded from my between my shoulder blades with such force I rose off my feet to spin around in the air. “What the hell?”

“Lou? You ok?”

In the moment I’d forgotten about Colleen and Kimberly who’d kept me warm that night. ¬†I tucked my newly reborn wings behind me in the dark as I did my best to keep my voice light, “Fine, Colleen, just a bad dream, that’s all. You go back to sleep, I’m going to get a drink, I’ll be back.” That satisfied her as she snuggled down under the covers next to Kimberly and wasn’t heard from again.

With my mind racing I sprinted to the main bathroom on the first floor where I’d have a bit of privacy. I stared at myself in the mirror and was struck by the very visible difference between Lucifer Samuels who stared back at me every day and the angel looking at me now. There I was with my handsome face, coal black eyes but the black hair I kept neatly short returned to shoulder length, around my waist was my black loin cloth with its gold belt, tucked into it was my dagger with its serpentine handle, on my finger was the heavy ruby and gold ring bearing my sigil. On my left arm running from the shoulder to the elbow, the angelic tattoo of spreading black wings before a sunrise had returned. ¬†Around my neck was the familiar the leather strand from which dangled a single bear claw the tip of which had long ago been capped with gold and etched with my initial.

Even as everything about me tingled with the Divine Energy suddenly surging throughout my entire body, it seemed so unbelievable but it was true; my Grace had returned and with it my Powers. I wanted to jump for joy and shout out with glee.

Still, ever the skeptic that I am a test seemed in order, after all perhaps I was still dreaming or this was just one of my Father’s little jokes. To my command my black wings spread out from my back in their full glory. The dark feathers ruffled shaking out the remains of Sulphur and ash.¬† Pulling them inside, I wheeled around to face the bathtub, stuck out my hand, and watched the towels fly to me as my mind demanded. “Yes!” I hissed and threw my fist in the air in victory. Turning back to the mirror I stared at my reflection again and watched as my eyes glowed red to my command giving me the power to see directly into the soul of every human being.¬† “I’m back, baby.”

Wrapped up in the second most joyous moment of my long life, I was remiss in not remembering my nightmare or even wondering why, at this exact moment in time, my powers returned. Instead, I ran outside into the warm summer night feeling every single grain of cool sand beneath my bare feet. I spread my wings and soared high into the twinkling sky. I flew over the whole of Long Island and then over the bright lights of New York City gazing down on the world in all of its wonder.  Laughing with sheer bliss, I flew higher and higher, catching the wind, doing barrel rolls and loop-the-loops as though I were on some crazy amusement park ride. To say that I felt glorious would be an understatement; I felt reborn. I reveled in it until the sun began peering over the horizon chasing away the blackness of night as the sky quietly turned to brilliant yellow, orange, and red before the endless blue burst forth heralding that the new day had arrived.

My bare feet touched down on the soft sand at the rear door of my fancy Westhampton beach home. Although I was loathed to do it, just in case anyone was already awake and watching, I tucked in my wings, and forced myself into the more Earthly appearance of Lucifer Samuels walking on the beach with a few nearly unnoticeable exceptions; the ring, the tattoo, and the chain around my neck were now fixed upon me. No matter what form I took they would always be there as the conduits and guardians of my divinity.

Feeling most exhilarated I strolled right into my bedroom where my two nubile beauties were slumbering and gave them a righteous wakeup call in the form of my hard divine cock. Lucifer Samuels had a great reputation for his sexual prowess but that got kicked up several notches now that my powers returned. At the end of the third hour, I left women utterly spent as I went to the shower still all alight with the buzzing of boundless energy. It was then that I realized merging the two Lucifers might prove to be a large problem and trying to keep the separate might be even worse. An adjustment period was in order, perhaps to get my bearings and become reacquainted with my old self again a long vacation out of the public eye might be a good idea. Just pick up and travel off to some exotic but technologically challenged location where if I fucked up the entire world wouldn’t instantly know about it.

Before I could do that there was business to attend and I had an early afternoon meeting with the four presidents of local building trades unions to discuss the upcoming renovations to Central Park. It was a thirty million project that promised to be fruitful for all of us with many people working and money rolling in hand over fist. As much as I wanted to just take off, many of those people who would have new employment would be mine and I couldn’t leave them just hanging in the wind. That was no way to promote loyalty but it was a sure-fire way to get back in the news again and not in a flattering light.

Over several rounds of top shelf Scotch, the five of us sat in a nondescript downtown dive bar strategizing through the upcoming project to our mutual satisfaction. It was a conversation I would have normally enjoyed with company of equal pleasure but on that day not only boring but downright irritating. I couldn’t believe I was sitting there talking over such mundane considerations. ¬†Twice I had to rein myself from getting over angry some stupid thing was said and knew I couldn’t get to that little vacation fast enough or I’d blow my own cover a persona I’d come to know, like, and project so well.

Upon leaving the meeting and walking out into the late afternoon street I found the normal City noise that yesterday I found soothing today were too loud. The normal City smells that yesterday I found pleasing today were turning my stomach. Wanting to be away from there I threw open my car door and got one long leg inside before a shrill cry sank into my ears and turned my head in its direction. Across the street, just outside a greasy spoon, a man was shouting and roughing up a ragged homeless woman who was pleading for him to leave her alone. He paid her no mind and none to any of the hundreds of onlookers as he threw her to the ground, straddled over her, and shouted in her face that she couldn’t have anything to eat unless she paid for it. For a moment, while finding it repulsive, I thought it nothing more than a typical New York scene until he placed his hand on his belt buckle began undoing it and I realized he intended to rape her right there on the sidewalk in broad daylight. That was something that simply was not going to happen under my watchful eye, after all, it’s my job to punish the wicked and he was about to be very wicked indeed. I dashed across the street heedless of the traffic and honking horns, grabbed the angry man by the scruff of his neck and pulled him away from the fearful woman. He didn’t even seem to notice I was there as he kept shouting at her that she couldn’t eat without paying the price. Even as I held him back he continued lunging at her with one fist in the air and the other still trying to get his greasy trousers off his pudgy body.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I shouted in his face as I shoved him far away from the crying woman. “Leave her alone!”

“Fuck you! She wants to eat she’s gotta pay!”

Not understanding the situation I thrust one hand into my own pocket and pushed a hundred dollar bill into his shaking fist, “Here, take it. Consider her bill paid.”

The man looked at the money and threw it back at me, “Not with that. She knows what she’s gotta pay with, don’cha bitch?”

I looked down at her all huddled up in the corner between the two brick buildings with her knees drawn up to chin. “You think she owes you sex because you gave her a fucking hamburger? Is that it?” In utter disgust I turned my smoldering eyes back to meet his only to see him rubbing his burgeoning crotch and smiling with malicious anticipation. It was his eyes that caught me; they were blank, completely and utterly blank. It was almost as though he wasn’t in there at all. But other people were. I became acutely away that they were gathering in a circle around us and nearly everyone one of them was holding up a cellphone. Whatever happened from here on out, it was going to be on the Six O’clock news but it would be on Yahoo!, Facebook, and YouTube long before that if one of them weren’t already live streaming this altercation. ¬†Suddenly I had my own reputation to consider, or rather that of Lucifer Samuels, as much as I would have loved to go into a more meaningful version of Full Devil Mode I knew I had to be discreet about it. So I held his stare and kept my voice low as I searched through those empty hazel eyes. ¬†“Someone has called the cops by now, they’re on their way, look around you, people are filming this.” To emphasize my point I gave the man a rough but controlled shake and watched his blank eyes roll back in his blank head. When they rolled back again there seemed to be a glimmer of light in them. “Take the money and go back inside. Don’t make this any worse, alright?” I leaned in close enough to him get a good whiff of the old fryolator oil clinging to his every pore as I whispered forcefully directing into his pierced ear,” For the love of whatever God you believe in‚Ķstop jerking off!” The last seemed to get his attention. His hand fell away from his cock before snatching the hundred dollars from mine. His clenched fist fell to his side and he stumbled back into the diner.

Once he was out of my sight, I turned my attention to the victim in this situation and knelt down beside her. “Are you alright?” Without thinking, I took her dirty trembling hand into my well manicured paw and knew who she was just moments before she looked up at me. “No,” I whispered in shock, “Eve?”

Her eyes peered at me from over the tops of skinned knees hidden behind frayed denim. Then her small arms jutted around me, pulled me close to shaking body and held on for dear life as she softly cried, “I found you, I finally found you.”

In the not far distance I heard the sounds of wailing sirens. The police were arriving. There were cameras everywhere. “Shhh, quiet now, don’t say anything else.” All I wanted to do was scoop her up in my arms, spread my wings, and fly off with her. Restraint has never been my strongest suit, it took everything I had but I managed it. Throughout the next hour I remained calm, charismatic, and cooperative with the authorities until all of their questions were answered so their reports could be filled out. ¬†The police arrested the cook charging with battery and attempted sexual assault, I watched them take him away in handcuffs and listened to him ask what he’d done wrong. The blankness never fully left his eyes. When that was done, to the appearance of those still standing around filming, Eve and I went our separate ways. I walked across the street to my car and she wandered off in the opposite direction. Half a block down on a side street away from prying eyes, I picked her up.¬† I had a million questions for her but they all had to wait, Eve fell dead asleep before we got out of the City. From the look and the smell of her, she probably hadn’t slept, eaten, or showered in a very long time. Whatever horrible tale she had to tell me could wait until those three things were taken care of.

Like I said, it will be interesting to see if I can meld this part with the other 30 pages already written. LOL

I know where we want to go, where we need to go, I just have no idea of how to get there.

But that’s ok. In fact, it’s more than just ok.

These last two weeks away from work have done wonders for me! I’m more relaxed than I have been in YEARS. I’m even sleeping and dreaming! Every single night. I feel….dare I say it?….reborn. I feel like a person again, a viable worthy human being, and I haven’t felt that way in a very long time.

I could get used to this. Cooking. Cleaning. Writing.

I should collect my first Unemployment Check somewhere around February 7th, it’ll be a partial check, but the week after that should be a full one. Trust and believe when I tell you that I can get very accustomed to six months of Unemployment and finding my way back to myself again without worrying about work or who’s saying what or who’s about to stab me in the back or being completely and intentionally left out of ‘the loop’ while expecting to act as though I’m in it.

Yeah, baby, some time in July I might consider looking for a job again.

Until then, I’m just looking for me and hoping I like what I find.


Day 10

Well, you know, here I was watching “The Blacklist”, enjoying a plate of over easy eggs and what toast when my phone went off.

Old boss needed my help. Seems like those down in Yalesville (soon to be Wallingford, more on that in bit! LOL) were going a bit batty and sent a nasty e-mail looking people’s Weekly Activity Reports. I told my old boss I had sent in every single WAR right up until the last week when the internet was shut off. I was unable to send that WAR. Well, he didn’t know how to format it or what to put on it or…anything really.¬† So me being me I jumped in to help out. I made him up a quick template and emailed it to him. Since I still have access to my old work email I got into that and sent him the last WAR I’d been able to send out so he could see what goes on it.

The conversation got more enlightening from there.

Yalesville received a Cease and Desist Order. Sure they did. They rented that building to Organizing so, of course, Organizing expects to move in. They expected to move in on January 1st and to have that half of the building to themselves. They didn’t expect it to be ‘under construction’ and/or to have what few offices there are in that building jam packed with crap from every other building that was once owned by the three Locals in the State of Connecticut.

(he other half of that building is Apprenticeship & Training)

But Organizing was unable to do that and they’re a little mad about that. Who couldn’t see that coming? Of course no one bothered to get Organizing’s permission to renovate the building they were under the impression they were going to rent. No one asked Organizing to share it with all of the other Business Agents and secretaries that are left after the big merger. They had their own plans for the building. Duh.¬† I guess because, at the end of the day, the whole kit n kaboodle is owned by NERCC no one thought it would be a problem. LOL If were running Organizing I’d have the lease either amended to reflect that we were not paying that much rent when so many other people were going to be using ‘our offices’ or I’d have the lease made null and void outright. After all, the lease has already been broken before it could even go into effect.

Since Yalesville, with all of its wild ideas isn’t going to be ready for “at least another month”, they now have to move into Organizing’s old offices–in Wallingord– for the time being. ROFLMAO

But, wait, it gets better; all of the Business Agents are really going to have work out of their cars until things get ‘straightened out’!

Please keep in mind that up until a very short time ago this ‘organization’ owned 4 buildings. They sold Yalesville to Apprenticeship & Training a year–year and a half ago–which made their part of the building quite a bit smaller. And they had to rent the space. They owned a building in Hartford, one in Fairfield, and the one in New London. Now they don’t own any buildings. They’re effectively homeless. Now, I do believe that two of those buildings were owned outright and the third still had a mortgage. Are you seeing where I’m going with this yet?¬† Selling them all off willy-nilly is so totally not a ‘good business decision’. Yes, it may cost slightly more to keep those buildings open but 1) two of those buildings had very good tenants that paid at least 1/2 the cost of keeping those buildings open (sans staff pay) and 2)they’re assets that could have been borrowed against if hard times befell. Of course they were also good for so many other things as well, least among them being Member Morale. Now….poof…gone.

And they Business Agents are all working out of their cars in the dead of winter.

Oh, yes, and ‘no more job visits’ because ‘that’s what stewards are for’. Really? Ok. Whatever. No, they must all put their efforts into organizing now.

Organizing what exactly? The jobs they’re losing? The members they’re losing? Oh no wait, getting behind the politicians they like, is that it? Never mind the politicians that support their causes because soon there isn’t going to be enough of a union for any politician to give a shit about. Nothing like just throwing whatever power you had away like yesterday’s old fish.

Someone should be fired. Seriously. Someone should be fired over this debacle and it certainly isn’t the secretarial staff. Face it, if this was a ‘real business’ you know damn well someone’s head would be on the chopping block and rightly so.

So within two weeks of losing my job ALL of my predictions have come to fruition.

It’s nice to be right and to have an IQ over 69.

But none of that is my concern any longer. I don’t work there anymore. Not yet anyway.

That’s my News for the Day….back to “The Blacklist”.